July 20, 2025

Reclaiming Your Power: The Danger of Hierarchical Helper-Seeker Relationships

You're always at the centre of your own growth journey

#authenticrelating #autonomy #sovereignty

==================

All episodes can be found at https://truthandtranscendence.com

All about Catherine/Being Space/Freedom of Spirit/Pellowah & Transformational Coaching at https://beingspace.world

_____________________

What we discussed:

00:58 Coach is the wrong word

01:59 Counterproductive hierarchy in helping professions

03:23 You are at the top of your growth hierarchy

04:54 Officer class school training

05:58 We can all remind ourselves of our sovereign choice

07:45 The danger of giving our autonomy away

09:10 Professional helpers - resist the temptation to take over

#selfresponsibility #discernment #owningourpower

Support the show

=====

Catherine/Being Space/Workshops/Coaching: https://beingspace.world

______

🤝 Join our Being Space Community

✦ Podcast: https://truthandtranscendence.com

✦ Website: https://beingspace.world

✦ YouTube: / https://youtube.com/@BEINGSPACEcatherinellewellyn

✦ Instagram: / https://instagram.com/beingspace.world/

✦ Facebook: / https://facebook.com/BeingSpaceWorld

✦ TikTok: / https://tiktok.com/@beingspace.world

______

Donations: buymeacoffee.com/TandTpodcast

Podcast network: https://joinpodmatch.com/catherinellewellyn

Podcast website: https://podpage.com/?via=truthandtranscendence

Podcast coach: https://bestpodcastcoach.org/TruthandTranscendence/ref/2/

VA: https://va.world/contact/ref/1/...

00:00 - Introduction and podcast overview

WEBVTT

00:00:00.100 --> 00:00:02.786
Hi, I'm Catherine Llewellyn, the host of the podcast.

00:00:03.287 --> 00:00:34.445
You can find out all about Truth and Transcendence on truthandtranscendencecom and you can find out all about me on beingspaceworld, where you will find my online coaching offering, as well as my UK-based workshops the Freedom of Spirit Workshop for Liberation and Empowerment, the Pellewa Radical Shift in Consciousness workshop for spiritual expansion, and transformational coaching for exploring the mind-body-spirit connection on the expansive path.

00:00:34.445 --> 00:00:38.713
You can also support the podcast by actually making a donation.

00:00:38.713 --> 00:00:40.383
I hope you enjoy the show.

00:00:40.383 --> 00:00:42.509
Welcome to Truth and Transcendence.

00:00:42.509 --> 00:00:47.212
You can find all our other episodes on truthandtranscendencecom.

00:00:47.212 --> 00:00:51.465
I was thinking this morning about the word coach.

00:00:51.465 --> 00:01:05.295
I thought does that word seem to imply that someone else is in charge, that the coach is in charge setting the direction for the relationship?

00:01:05.295 --> 00:01:10.191
And I thought is there another word that's a bit more the tone I would prefer?

00:01:10.191 --> 00:01:12.120
And I thought facilitator.

00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:22.150
I thought no, facilitator also sounds like they are the ones having something happen, albeit facilitating, ie making it easier.

00:01:22.150 --> 00:01:26.025
And then I thought therapist yeah, still the same problem.

00:01:26.025 --> 00:01:33.774
Mentor yes, obviously the mentor is older, wiser, cleverer, more well-informed in some way.

00:01:33.774 --> 00:01:46.634
And it just struck me that even in the personal growth, spiritual expansion world, word guru as well comes to mind, teacher, all these words.

00:01:46.634 --> 00:01:58.063
They imply a hierarchy where a person who's looking to grow or expand is lower down in the hierarchy than the person who's trying to help them to do it.

00:01:58.063 --> 00:02:41.328
And I thought that's really counterproductive, because what we're implying there is that in order to get any help or support or assistance, we have to give up some of our autonomy, we have to let go of some of our sovereignty and give that away to somebody else, give them some of our power, some of our choice, making Either that or it's implying that that other person already has the authority and we are simply submitting to that or recognising the truth of that, which is also equally sinister, an unhealth alter, in my opinion.

00:02:41.328 --> 00:02:44.947
So I thought, well, why is this?

00:02:44.947 --> 00:02:45.889
Where does this come from?

00:02:45.889 --> 00:03:03.775
And, of course, it comes from all of the models that most of us have grown up with the teacher, the parents, the greased, the leader, the guru, the thought leader.

00:03:03.775 --> 00:03:30.293
All of these terms imply a hierarchy where we are lower in the hierarchy and they are higher up, and I haven't discovered a really good model that switches that around, that says well, actually, the person who's looking to grow and expand and transform their lives is actually at the very top of the hierarchy in their own life and always will be.

00:03:30.293 --> 00:03:57.737
And all of these other people who could be drawn in or invited to assist, to support, to inform, to advise, to empower, to help in all sorts of ways, to help in all sorts of ways that all these people can be invited in, to be of assistance, but without in any way denying that top of the hierarchy position of the person themselves in their own lives.

00:03:57.737 --> 00:04:07.210
So that's what most of us have grown up with, that's what most of us have been taught.

00:04:08.360 --> 00:04:09.203
And why is that?

00:04:09.203 --> 00:04:32.605
Well, it's partly because, from an economic point of view, it's much more expensive to run education whereby everyone's encouraged to be autonomous, because it's more difficult to measure the results, it's more difficult to make sure that certain things get covered, it's more difficult to get funding for it, and so on and so forth.

00:04:32.605 --> 00:04:49.490
But there is a model whereby people are educated as children to consider themselves further up the hierarchy, but unfortunately they are taught to consider themselves higher up the hierarchy and therefore other people are lower down.

00:04:49.490 --> 00:04:59.942
And I'm talking about the officer class training that happens in some of our schools, certainly here in the uk, which is where it's said well, yes, you're a child.

00:04:59.942 --> 00:05:01.908
Yes, the authorities know more than you.

00:05:01.908 --> 00:05:03.752
Yes, the experts know more than you.

00:05:03.752 --> 00:05:09.992
However, you know more than all the people who didn't go to these private schools and public schools.

00:05:09.992 --> 00:05:11.684
So, therefore, you are better than they are.

00:05:11.684 --> 00:05:13.709
You should be in charge of them.

00:05:13.709 --> 00:05:33.052
So I'm talking about a class division, but even within that class division that is actually shored up and kept in place by an external authority, albeit imaginary, an external authority that gives veritude to that and that says that that's the way that it is.

00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:36.708
So what do we do about this?

00:05:36.708 --> 00:05:43.514
Well, we can't really change the prevailing culture that we're in the society that we're in.

00:05:43.514 --> 00:05:54.795
We can do that in small pockets, we can do that in our family, let's say, or if we're in a group, we can actually choose to embody something different from that.

00:05:54.795 --> 00:06:08.028
But the thing we can do that we can all do is to remind ourselves of our own position in our own lives, which is at the top, or central is actually a better way of putting it.

00:06:08.028 --> 00:06:09.906
We are central in our own lives.

00:06:09.906 --> 00:06:14.831
So what that means is we are the ones who make the choices.

00:06:14.831 --> 00:06:16.908
We are the ones who expand, who grow.

00:06:16.908 --> 00:06:33.353
We are the ones who choose to look outside of ourselves if we wish to, and get some support and some assistance, and that we make sure, when we do that, that we're not giving away our autonomy and our sovereignty.

00:06:33.353 --> 00:06:45.913
We make sure, when we do that, that we don't bring someone in let's say it's a coach or a trainer or a mentor or a spiritual teacher, whatever it might be.

00:06:45.913 --> 00:07:07.151
We see if we can resist the temptation to follow the conditioning which would actually lead us to giving up the responsibility for our lives over to these other people, which, of course, is going to end up in resentment and failure because it's not based on reality, because they actually are not responsible for our lives.

00:07:08.673 --> 00:07:22.266
But this is a danger and I've done this myself, and the time when it's most possible to do this, most likely to do this, is when we are engaging with somebody who says I'm here to help you really embody your own sovereignty, really embody your autonomy, and this is how you do it.

00:07:22.266 --> 00:07:27.327
I'm here to help you really embody your own sovereignty, really embody your autonomy, and this is how you do it.

00:07:27.327 --> 00:07:31.764
I'm going to tell you how to do it, I'm going to tell you what your purpose is in doing it.

00:07:31.764 --> 00:07:43.689
I'm going to provide the leadership for this, which means, essentially, I'm going to take over, which is ironic because what they're supposed to be doing is helping you to expand and grow within your own context.

00:07:43.689 --> 00:07:52.880
So that's the danger.

00:07:52.920 --> 00:08:14.925
The danger is that we are seduced by what appears to be somebody who has all the answers, or a structure that has all the answers, and we go oh, thank God, I can now give responsibility to that entity, that person, that structure, that organization, that modality, that ideology, that philosophy or even that political perspective, because that falls into the same danger set.

00:08:14.925 --> 00:08:24.600
And, of course, the problem with that is that we then disempower ourselves, because when we give our power away to those situations, we're taking it away from ourselves.

00:08:24.600 --> 00:08:43.765
So the trick is to be really diligent about this and get help from whoever we want it, be judicious about it and be judicious about the framing of the relationship, the framing of the context for what's being done.

00:08:43.765 --> 00:09:02.434
And if you feel yourself starting to give away responsibility to the external person, entity, organisation, modality, faith, whatever it might be, draw back, take a breath, regroup, come back in and reset.

00:09:02.434 --> 00:09:07.101
Take a breath, regroup, come back in and reset.

00:09:07.101 --> 00:09:12.311
And, of course, on the other side of it, for practitioners, coaches, teachers, leaders, gurus, all of these people.

00:09:12.311 --> 00:09:25.895
What we all have to watch out for is when that person's gazing up at us with faith, hope, respect, appreciation and trying to give us responsibility for their lives.

00:09:25.895 --> 00:09:34.331
So for us, the risk is of accepting that and then causing a problem for everybody down the line.

00:09:38.301 --> 00:09:39.785
So I hope you've enjoyed that conversation.

00:09:39.785 --> 00:09:40.929
I hope you found that interesting.

00:09:40.929 --> 00:09:43.727
Please do keep spreading the word.

00:09:43.727 --> 00:09:46.787
Tell your friends, give us a five-star rating.

00:09:46.787 --> 00:09:48.370
Thank you for watching and listening.

00:09:48.370 --> 00:09:50.403
Have a great week and I'll see you next time.

00:09:50.403 --> 00:09:53.149
I hope you enjoyed this week's episode.

00:09:53.149 --> 00:09:59.049
It really helps if you give a thumbs up, a five-star rating, a review and share with your friends.

00:09:59.049 --> 00:10:07.446
If you're looking for transformational coaching or an intensive transformational weekend workshop experience, I can help with that.

00:10:07.446 --> 00:10:11.094
You can actually help the show by making a donation.

00:10:11.094 --> 00:10:14.011
Until next time, take care.